Posts Tagged survivor

Fatherlessness and my A.D.D

     I was talking with my son today about the world and how not everyone is fortunate enough to grow up with a loving dad. A loving dad who plays basketball with them every single day after work. A father that will turn on music and dance like a dork just to have fun with his kids. Or a daddy who will stomach (literally) several kicks to the groin just because his kids want to wrestle. I am not perfect but I do all of those things just because I know what it is like not to have that love from a father.

Don’t get me wrong, I still had family in my life but just a different kind. I lost my immediate family at 5 years old but a giant, loving family was already being orchestrated for me by my Heavenly Father. My grandparents raised me and did their best and did a great job. I just wasn’t the easiest kid to raise. And my grandparents hadn’t picked up the latest copy of ‘How to raise a little kid who is a sole survivor of a family/murder suicide’. (Note the sarcasm!) My grandpa did a great job of playing catch with me out in the yard every now and then and as an adult with kids of my own, those memories are still close to my heart. I want my kids to have those memories. OH MAN! Did I get sidetracked again. Sometimes reading the blog of someone who has A.D.D and, who knows what else, can be interesting.

In fact, anytime I email friends, I always add a code word at the bottom just so I can make sure they read my whole email because my intentions are to keep it brief but once I start writing, I can’t stop. (Isn’t that a Miley Cirus song?) #sidetrackedagain

Back to the lecture at hand (90’s Hip Hop reference), this was supposed to be about how I got the opportunity today to talk with my son about being a father and mentor to someone. How, even though I didn’t have that so-called father in my life, I had several people in my life that stepped up as mentors and helped me in my times of need. I thank God for the father/son moments where I can share some of my limited wisdom with my oldest son as we shoot hoops or other activities. I will attach a documentary about fatherlessnes that I was a part of a few years ago. Check it out if you haven’t seen it. There are some great stories in the film. I recommend the whole movie but if you are short on time, my story starts at around 28 minutes. If you are still reading this, the code word is elbow. What the heck is the point of poison ivy? Anyone? -cK


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Xray of bullet fragments still in the back of my head.

Bullet fragments in back of my brain from my dad's .38

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I was 5yrs old that Sunday night, when my dad came over…My parents were seperated in the midst of getting a divorce. My dad was an alcoholic and also frequently used drugs. He was very abusive to my mother. At one point, my mother took my brother and I to live at a battered women’s shelter with her because my dad, at many times, became physical. That Sunday, my dad asked my mom for another chance, so she agreed to let him come over and talk. My mother was warned by several friends not to take my dad back, she told them “he would never hurt the kids” and so she would try to reconcile with him. That Sunday evening, when my dad came over, he was under the influence of drugs and alcohol. My brother and I went off to bed as my parents were arguing. Their argument continued to the bedroom. My dad started to strangle my mother and ended up suffocating her with a pillow on the bed. He then grabbed his .38 Read the rest of this entry »

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