Archive for category Domestic Violence

Fatherlessness and my A.D.D

     I was talking with my son today about the world and how not everyone is fortunate enough to grow up with a loving dad. A loving dad who plays basketball with them every single day after work. A father that will turn on music and dance like a dork just to have fun with his kids. Or a daddy who will stomach (literally) several kicks to the groin just because his kids want to wrestle. I am not perfect but I do all of those things just because I know what it is like not to have that love from a father.

Don’t get me wrong, I still had family in my life but just a different kind. I lost my immediate family at 5 years old but a giant, loving family was already being orchestrated for me by my Heavenly Father. My grandparents raised me and did their best and did a great job. I just wasn’t the easiest kid to raise. And my grandparents hadn’t picked up the latest copy of ‘How to raise a little kid who is a sole survivor of a family/murder suicide’. (Note the sarcasm!) My grandpa did a great job of playing catch with me out in the yard every now and then and as an adult with kids of my own, those memories are still close to my heart. I want my kids to have those memories. OH MAN! Did I get sidetracked again. Sometimes reading the blog of someone who has A.D.D and, who knows what else, can be interesting.

In fact, anytime I email friends, I always add a code word at the bottom just so I can make sure they read my whole email because my intentions are to keep it brief but once I start writing, I can’t stop. (Isn’t that a Miley Cirus song?) #sidetrackedagain

Back to the lecture at hand (90’s Hip Hop reference), this was supposed to be about how I got the opportunity today to talk with my son about being a father and mentor to someone. How, even though I didn’t have that so-called father in my life, I had several people in my life that stepped up as mentors and helped me in my times of need. I thank God for the father/son moments where I can share some of my limited wisdom with my oldest son as we shoot hoops or other activities. I will attach a documentary about fatherlessnes that I was a part of a few years ago. Check it out if you haven’t seen it. There are some great stories in the film. I recommend the whole movie but if you are short on time, my story starts at around 28 minutes. If you are still reading this, the code word is elbow. What the heck is the point of poison ivy? Anyone? -cK

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Mother’s day and my brother’s Birthday…a reminder

This Mother’s Day is an extra special reminder to me of how precious life is. I celebrate the fact that my beautiful wife is a great mother to my son, Dylan. I cherish my amazing mother who was taken from this earth as a result of domestic violence. In the same breath, I honor my late brother as today is his birthday.

Michael and Debbie Keith

As an adult, I look back at the short time I had with both of them and cherish the memories. Every single smile is embedded in the back of my brain as a reminder to not take life for granted. I walk in the bedroom and see my son sleeping and I don’t know how my dad could have done what he did to us. I could never fathom doing that to my family. Even during depression when I have thought of giving up, there are three things that keep me ‘pressing on’. Read the rest of this entry »

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April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

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April is National Child Abuse Prevention month. A blue ribbon is the international symbol for Child Abuse Prevention. The color blue was chosen to represent the bruised and battered bodies of the thousands of children that are abused everyday. It serves as a constant reminder that all of us have a responsibility to help keep children safe

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Is Someone You Know Being Abused?

There is no way to tell for sure if someone is experiencing domestic violence. Those who are battered, and those who abuse, come in all genders, shapes, sizes, colors, economic classes, sexual orientations and personality types. Victims are not always passive with low self-esteem, and batterers do not always exhibit frequent violent or hateful behavior to their partners, especially in front of others. Most people experiencing relationship violence do not tell others what goes on at home. So how do you tell? Look for the signs:

Injuries and Excuses:

In some cases, bruises and injuries may occur frequently and be in obvious places. When this happens, the abuser may be purposefully intending to keep the victim isolated and trapped at home. When black eyes and other bruising is a result of domestic violence, the victim may be forced to call in sick to work, miss school, or cancel social obligations or appointments in order to avoid the embarrassment and making excuses of how the injuries occurred. When there are frequent injuries seen by others, the victim may talk about being clumsy, or have elaborate stories of how the injuries occurred. In other cases, bruises and other outward injuries may be inflicted in places where the injuries won’t show. This too is a tactic used by an abuser to keep a victim from reaching out or from having the violence exposed.

Absences from Work or School:

When violence occurs, the victim may take time off from their normal schedule. If you see this happening, or the person is frequently late, this could be a sign of something (such as relationship violence) occurring. Not only may visible injury or bruising keep the victim at home as noted above, but the victim may need to take advantage of times when the abuser is away, such as at work, to care for themselves, sleep, or to recouperate from the incident or contemplate the situation and possible courses of action. Read the rest of this entry »

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Did You Know?

One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.1

An estimated 1.3 million women (and growing) are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.2

85% of domestic violence victims are women.3

Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.4

Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.5

Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.6

 

 Sources

1 Tjaden, Patricia & Thoennes, Nancy. National Institute Read the rest of this entry »

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